Stuffing. And I don’t mean Stove Top.

Today was a hard day, food wise.  It’s been 2 weeks and a day since I last had fast food, and I could have killed someone for some salty, greasy, pipng hot french fries from McDonalds.  I didn’t cave; but all day long I’ve been grumpy again, practically able to taste the salt crystals on the roof of my mouth.

Based on the recommendation of a friend who’s been there, I’ve ordered the book “Making Peace with Food: Freeing Yourself from the Diet/Weight Obsession”.  It’s in the bargain bin for $6.40 at Amazon, if anybody else is interested in ordering.

I also ordered a couple of workout DVD’s geared towards the chunky chicks.  They’re called “Shapely Girl”, and the first one is Beginner Step Cardio, followed by Low Impact Cardio.  And she’s releasing a new DVD on September 9th featuring cardio toning with weights.  I’ll put up a review as soon as I receive them.

And finally, I’m signing Mason & I up for a baby swim class at the YWCA; and I’m also thinking about taking another water fitness class.  I need to exercise – eating healthier alone isn’t gonna cut it.

And with that, I give you today’s food list.

Breakfast:
Whole grain bagel made by David’s Deli.  Really good, and 5 grams of fiber!
2 Tbsp whipped cream cheese
Deli turkey

Snacks:
3 pieces of light string cheese

Lunch:
Sandwich with 2 pieces whole grain wheat bread, 2 slices of colby cheese, and deli ham
2 servings Southwestern Ranch baked potato chips (about 25 chips)

Dinner:
Roasted broccoli with crimini mushrooms and shrimp

To cure my stupid sweet tooth:
3 mini Toblerone chocolate bars

I hope these cravings stop soon.  I think I’m strong, but it’s so hard to keep slaying my inner dragons.

Like a cow in the pasture.

Not a great day, but not a complete failure, either.  I’ve been grazing all day, and I know better.

But I’m emotionally drained today, and didn’t feel like taking care of myself.  I’m tired of taking care of everyone else and putting myself last.  I’m tired of asking for help and not getting it.  I’m tired of feeling unworthy and ugly.  I’m just tired of everything.

All total today, I ate:
–A forkful of leftover salmon.
–2 pickles rolled up in ham slices.
–A wedge of pizza focaccia bread.
–About 8 pieces of string cheese.
–About 4 mini Toblerone chocolate bars.
–Several slices of deli turkey.
–A slice of zucchini bread.
–A heaping plate of taco salad, made with too much dressing.

It wasn’t terrible, but I felt out-of-control. I managed to guzzle a big bottle of Evian and a bottle of Walmart’s wild cherry sparkling water, but it was nowhere near the 100+ ounces I should be drinking every day.

I only got 5 hours of fitful sleep last night, and I can feel it every time I open my mouth.  Even *I* cringe at how crabby I am, but I can’t help it.

I’m going to bed, before I mindlessly shove something else in my mouth.

Birthday Blips.

Why were birthday always So Much Fun when we were little; but now that we’re adults, they’re really not so great?!?

Last year at this time, I was tremendously pregnant with feet swollen to the size of small planets.  My blood pressure was soaring; and every time I visited the gynie’s office, he would remind me of my ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE.   As if I were 90 and needed my memory jogged with each and every visit.

In any case, I had a great day!  I washed all our bedding and hung it outside to dry, and it was heaven to take in the smell of fresh sheets as I was making the bed.  Spent some time browsing online clothes shops, hoping that I’ll be a few sizes smaller by next summer.  I didn’t order anything, but I might break down & get one dress as sort of a goal outfit.

Dave/Mason bought me a Sony Webbie camcorder, so I can keep it in the diaper bag & make videos of our little excursions.  It will come in handy when he travels for work and misses out on the little things, like hearing Mason’s endless whining, er, I mean babbling.  And he ran my car through the carwash & brought home a bouquet of flowers.

(I just realized something – the latest camera brings my total up to five.  The new Sony Webbie MHS-PM1 in funky violet, my favorite Nikon D70s, a Canon Powershot G9, a Canon Powershot S5 IS, and a cheapie Suprema underwater digital camera I bought for taking pictures of Mason at the pool.  And I *still* feel like I miss out on a million photo opportunities every day.)

I scarfed down a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread for breakfast, and snacked on mozzarella whips and red grapes in the afternoon.  For dinner, I made salmon on the grill without using any butter, and it turned out delicious.  Normally, we’d pour a stick of melted butter mixed with some herbs & garlic over the fish; but this time, we just sprayed a little nonstick spray on the aluminum foil & drizzled a bit of olive oil over the top, to keep it from sticking.  We didn’t miss the butter, and the lemon and onion flavors really shone (shined?) through.

We also roasted some asparagus with crimini mushrooms in the oven, and the four of us gobbled down the entire 2 pounds of it.  I had one whole wheat dinner roll, but skipped the potato salad.  And for dessert, my Dad baked a loaf of zucchini bread, and I had one small piece.

All in all, I’m very happy with my eating for the day.  I didn’t binge, I didn’t gorge myself, and I ate until I was full.

And the best part of the day?  As of this morning, I’ve lost 11 pounds.

I don’t know where those eleven pounds went – my clothes fit the same and my butt is as bubbly as ever.  It’s a fraction of how much I want need to lose; but still.  I feel like I’m finally figuring things out.

Tomorrow, I’m going to try and write out why I started on this path to healthier eating; and the unconscionable binges that led me here.

But for today, I’m going to bask in the glow of the 37 candles on my imaginary birthday cake.

Freak Out Friday.

So, if you ever start feeling kinda good about yourself, try putting on a bathing suit or two.  It’s guaranteed to knock your self-esteem down to previously unrecorded lows.

I went to the grocery store this morning to pick up a salmon side for dinner tomorrow night.  My parent’s wanted to go out for a birthday dinner, but I said no and insisted on cooking a healthy meal at home.  I knew tonight’s dinner was going to be wickedly delicious, and I don’t want to have two big restaurant meals in a row.  So, it’s grilled salmon with lemon roasted asparagus and mushrooms and homemade potato salad with whole wheat dinner rolls.  I won’t eat the potato salad, but am sure I’ll be fine with the salmon, asparagus, and one roll.

On the way home, I had some terrible stomach cramps.  By the time I pulled in the garage, I was desperate for the bathroom.  I had to leave Mason in the car to run in the house and empty my gullet with the force of an intercoastal hurricane.  Yikes!  Similar episodes kept me tethered to the toilet all afternoon.  Later in the day, Dave confessed to having the same sort of issues.  I think it was the fajita seasoning from last night’s dinner.  It had an expiration date of April of 2009, but I used it anyway.  “How can spices go bad?”, I thought, while I dumped the packet over the chicken and vegetables.  Well, I guess we know the answer to that little question, don’t we!

I tried to eat a piece of meatloaf from the deli counter at the grocery store, but I’m pretty sure it sailed right through me.  Ditto the mozzarella whips (long, thin pieces of string cheese, fresh from the grocer’s).

However, I did have one bright spot during the day.  For the last few days, I’ve had intense cravings for the french onion dip sitting in the fridge.  Finally, after lunch, I took out my bag of popchips and counted out 11 chips (half a serving).  I grabbed the container of dip, and stirred it until it was nice and creamy.  Then, I dunked the very edge of alternating chips in the dip, for a whopping total of six dippers.  And I put it back in the fridge, sure I’d only consumed a tablespoon of dip, at the absolute most.  60 calories for the chips and 40 calories for the dip.  Not bad at all, and I was very proud of myself for finding a reasonable way to conquer this craving.  And you know what?  I haven’t given the dip a second thought since.

Screw you, food issues and binge disorder and guilt-ridden conscience!

Anyway, I planned to wear the dress I ordered for the little guy’s christening out to dinner, but it’s still too snug around my belly.  It’s great when I’m standing; but when I sit, it gathers up and strains over my fat rolls.  Not attractive in the least.  But it’s such a cute dress, and now it’s going to hang in my closet, unworn and unloved.

Dammit.  I even had the perfect black patent pumps to go with it.  Sigh.

I ended up wearing my old tired black tank dress with a white cardigan.  I looked acceptable, but was still disappointed that I didn’t wear my polka dot number.  Maybe next weekend, while we’re away?

In any case, the restaurant was absolutely stellar.  I drank only lemon water, even though I almost caved for an appletini.  I thoroughly enjoyed my food, and didn’t feel the least bit guilty for ordering what I did.

I decided to skip the appetizer.  They brought a small loaf of warm bread to the table, and I had 2 small slices with the tiniest sliver of olive oil and fresh herbs.  A salad was served with fresh peppercorn ranch dressing, and I used about 3 tablespoons over the plate of greens.  My entree was 2 slices of stuffed tenderloin; but in reality, there was no more than 4 ounces of steak, hollowed out and filled with roasted garlic, a slice of pearl onion, and a teensy bit of Brie cheese.

As a splurge, I decided to have the lobster whipped potatoes.  I’m so glad I did – they were heavenly.  Tender yukon gold potatoes, mashed with heavy cream and butter and a bit of parmesan cheese, with pieces of lobster meat thrown in for a masterpiece of flavors.  Next time, I will forgo the steak and order only the potatoes.

Accompanying the steak and potatoes was a generous helping of sauteed zucchini and tomatoes with a sprinkling of parmesan.  Deliciouso!

Everything was magnificent.  Truly.  And then they brought out the dessert tray.  Dave ordered a piece of lemon trifle with mascarpone cheese and fresh berries, and I ordered a piece of chocolate mousse cheesecake.  Once again, it was like a culinary orgasm.

And we walked out of the restaurant with our bellies full and our souls soothed.  Do I feel guilty about what I ordered?  Absolutely not!  It was liberating to order what I wanted and eat it right there in the open; rather than scarfing down an entire pizza in secret.

I’m trying so hard to adopt a new attitude about food.

I don’t need it for comfort.
I won’t feel guilty for an occasional indulgence.
I won’t use it as a reward or a bargaining chip.
I will make healthy choices, and feel good about doing so.

Maybe this is what normal feels like.

Trying Thursday.

I need to find something else to occupy my time.  Scouring the internet for recipes and thinspiration is wearing me out.  The food!  The diets!  Click here!  No, click over here!  Hold on a second, young lady, you *need* to check out this program right now!  My God, it makes my head spin.

Had kind of a bad eating day, but I’m not going to beat myself up.  I found a box of Little Debbie brownies in my desk drawer, and ate 2 of them for breakfast.  We were out of milk and cereal and cheese and almost everything else, so it was my own fault for not planning better.  But, you know what?  It was  590 calories, not 5,000 like some of my past binges.  In the grand scheme of things, this was a tiny little hiccup.

I picked up another pack of peppers and some low carb tortillas at Walmart, and threw together chicken fajitas for dinner.  I used Taco Bell fajita seasoning mix, light sour cream, and Weight Watchers reduced fat Mexican cheese.  The cheese was excellent – no way could I tell I was eating reduced fat cheese.  But the light sour cream was nasty!  I think I’d rather use regular sour cream and eat half a portion.

I’m gearing up for a fancy schmancy dinner tomorrow night.  It’s my birthday on Saturday, and we’re going out for a child-free meal to celebrate.  The menu link is here, and I’m worried I’m going to blow it.

But then I realize, “For fuck’s sake, woman, cut the crap!  It’s one meal for one special occasion!  If you ever want to have a healthy relationship with food, you need to stop thinking of it in terms of ‘rewards’ and ‘blowing it’.”

Yeah, so, we’ll see how it all pans out.

Wicked Wednesday.

I feel like I should be in the honeymoon phase of this healthy eating plan, but I find myself daydreaming about all things fried and salty and crunchy and wicked.  How do you overcome it, these never-ending thoughts of food?

I need to start forcing myself to eat breakfast every day again.  I love Fiber One cereal, and it’s not too bad when paired with 1% milk.  I can’t do skim milk – it’s too watered down and tastes weird to me.  Growing up, my grandparents had a farm & we used to dunk a pitcher straight into the bulk tank every morning.  Skim milk is like an insult to the good old days.

(Note – these posts aren’t sponsored by anyone.  I only “name drop” because there are certain foods that are worth mentioning.  No compensation is coming my way for recommending these products.)

Has anybody tried this Over the Moon milk yet?  They had an ad in Weight Watchers magazine (I subscribe for the recipes), and 100 calories with zero fat for an 8-ounce serving does appeal to me.  But booooo to the 150mg of sodium & the 14g of sugar (in all fairness, though, I think these numbers are comparable to 1% cow’s milk).

I went to Target to look for a pool toy for the little guy for our mini vacation next week, and ended up perusing the snack aisle.  I think I’m a glutton for punishment.  Or guilty of gluttony, at the very least.

I ended up buying a bag of Maui sweet onion potato chips for me, and a bag of salt & vinegar potato chips for my husband.  They’re our favorites, and I put them in the closet to take with us on our getaway.  I have no intention of going hog wild, so to speak, while we’re away; but I want to be able to enjoy my favorite chips if I so desire.  And who knows?  By then I’ll have almost 2 weeks under my belt, and may not even want the damn things.

I also splurged and bought 2 bags of Popchips potato chips.  Have you tried these things?  Each bag only has 3 servings, and a 120 calorie serving is a very generous 22 chips.  I picked up a Subway roast chicken breast sub on the way home (oy!  the sodium in that thing) and was very full after eating the sandwich and a serving of chips.

Again, driving home, I had these horrible urges to pull into McDonald’s for a large coke and some chicken nuggets.  Or no, Taco Bell for a couple chicken tacos and a large Mountain Dew.  Going through the drive through at Subway almost felt like a splurge.

For dinner, we made shrimp kebabs on the grill with lemon roasted asparagus.  I buy the frozen jumbo shrimp at walmart, and defrost them and marinade them in Mrs. Dash lemon pepper seasoning, if I have some on hand.  Then I just thread them on metal skewers with red onion slices and pepper wedges, and grill them for a couple minutes over medium heat.  Delish.

I will say this much:  I’m not really missing all the extra carbs we used to eat.  It was normal for me to make garlic bread or french bread with every meal, oftentimes with pasta.  Both Dave and I would end up feeling bloated and miserable from such HUGE portions, and do nothing but lay on the couch and moan all night.

I definitely have more energy at night, even though hunger is becoming my constant companion during the day.

I really do feel like an addict, but I’m trying to find the strength to keep away from the fast food.  I know it will get easier, but I think I’ll always be searching for the quick fix, or the magic pill to make me better.

I just want to find peace, or that magical balance between health and wellness.  It’s gotta be here somewhere.

Tasty Tuesday.

Whoopsie – edited on 08/22/09.   I have to get my days and my comment moderating straightened out!!

I’m trying so hard, but I swear, food occupies nearly every thought in my head during the day.

Had a good eating day, of sorts.  I’m finding that string cheese makes a great snack; much more so than chips or anything too terrible.  And macadamia nuts – they’re so salty and rich that I can actually eat the recommended serving size and put the can away.  Gotta take the small victories as they come, I guess.

Dinner was a bit rushed since we had to take the little guy for a haircut at 6:30, but we still managed.  Tonight’s blue plate special was Wok Seared Chicken with Pistachios and Roasted Green Beans with Mushrooms.

The green beans were out of this world good, but the chicken left a little too be desired.  The original recipe called for asparagus and sesame oil, but I didn’t have any on hand.  The oyster-flavored sauce was overwhelming and waaaaaay too salty for my taste.  I won’t be making it again.  However, if you want to try it, here’s the recipe in it’s original form.

Wok Seared Chicken with Asparagus & Pistachio Nuts

1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil (I used plain old olive oil)
1 1/2 pounds fresh asparagus, tough ends trimmed, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 pound chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
4 scallions (fancy way of saying green onions), trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
1 tablespoon oyster-flavored sauce
1 teaspoon chile-garlic sauce (don’t know what this is, so I used a smattering of red pepper flakes and some freshly minced garlic)
1/4 cup shelled salted pistachios, coarsely chopped

Heat oil in a large skillet over high heat. Add asparagus; cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add chicken; cook, chicken and asparagus together, stirring, for another 4 minutes. Stir in scallions, ginger, oyster sauce and chile-garlic sauce; cook, stirring, until the chicken is cooked through, 1 to 2 minutes more. Stir in pistachios and serve immediately.

And, the piece de resistance…

Roasted Green Beans with Shrooms

1/2 pound brown crimini mushrooms, sliced
1 lb. fresh green beans, trimmed and cut into bite-sized pieces
3 or 4 cloves fresh garlic, finely minced
3 or 4 green onions, finely diced (I only use the white part)
1-1/2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 Tablespoon balsamic vinegar
salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste
2 Tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 450.   Lightly spray baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray.

Arrange prepared green beans and mushrooms on cookie sheet, spreading them out well so beans and mushrooms are not crowded. Sprinkle with fresh garlic and diced onions, and drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  Roast 20-30 minutes, starting to check for doneness after 20 minutes. Cook until beans are tender-crisp, mushrooms are cooked, and all liquid on the pan from mushrooms has evaporated.

Season beans to taste with salt and fresh ground pepper, then sprinkle with finely grated parmesan. Serve hot.

Manic Monday.

I want to know when this is going to get easier.  No, really.  When does it become second nature, to reach the point of not having to talk myself down from the ledge, so to speak?  To keep going past Hardee’s, even though I want so much to drive in there and have a chicken sandwich.  Or a big roast beef.  Or both.

The morning went pretty good.  Had a bowl of Fiber One honey clusters cereal with 1% milk.  Snacked on a couple macadamia nuts & a piece of string cheese.  Grabbed a handful of grapes and a handful of kettle corn while feeding Mason lunch.  Ran to JoAnn’s for a new cutting blade for my rotary cutter.  Fought like hell to keep driving past Hardee’s and McDonald’s and Taco Bell and Arby’s and Dairy Queen.  Came home and cried, because these cravings are sooooo strong, and it takes everything in my power to fight them.  Made a turkey sandwich on whole grain bread with a piece of cheese, dijonaisse mustard, and pickles.  Still hungry, so I snacked on a couple more macadamia nuts.

Made a delicious, healthy dinner of roasted broccoli and shrimp.  Stayed pretty full until 9:00, then had 3 mini toblerone chocolate bars (only 30 calories per bar, though, so I didn’t do too bad).  And with that, it’s time for bed.  Here’s hoping tomorrow is another strong-willed day!

Roasted Broccoli with Shrimp

2 pounds broccoli, cut into bite-size florets
2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Spike seasoning, to taste
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes, to taste
4-5 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 pound thawed large shrimp, shelled and deveined (I used the 45-60 count frozen shrimp from Walmart)
1 1/4 teaspoons lemon zest (from 1 large lemon)
Lemon juice (from 1 large lemon)
1/4 cup freshly shredded parmesan cheese

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Cover cookie sheet with aluminum foil, and spray with non-stick cooking spray.

2. Spread broccoli in a single layer on a baking sheet.  Drizzle with olive oil and season with Spike seasoning, pepper, and red pepper flakes.  Add garlic over all.  Roast for 10 minutes. Add shrimp to baking sheet and toss with broccoli. Add lemon zest and lemon juice over all.  Roast, tossing once halfway through, until shrimp are just opaque and broccoli is tender and golden around edges, about 10 minutes more. Sprinkle with parmesan just before serving.

Sunday Dinner.

Another relatively successful day.  My portions are still pretty huge (I ate TWO hamburgers, but figure it was still better than a bag of potato chips), and I’m trying to eat more green, leafy things.

Tonight’s dinner menu:

Big, Fat, Juicy Cheeseburgers
(Modified from a recipe found in FitPregnancy magazine)

Ingredients:
1/2 medium onion, finely diced
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 cup finely chopped portobello mushrooms
1-2 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1 cup finely chopped bread crumbs
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1 pound 93 percent lean ground beef (7 percent fat)
4 slices sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup loosely packed baby greens
4 whole-wheat hamburger buns
1 medium tomato, thinly sliced
1 small onion, thinly sliced

Directions:
In a small nonstick frying pan, sauté the diced onion in oil over medium heat until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add mushrooms and garlic and saute for 1 minute, shaking pan. Turn heat up to high and add balsamic vinegar. Cook on high until vinegar is absorbed, about 30 seconds. Transfer to a large bowl and let cool.

Transfer bread crumbs to bowl with mushroom mixture. Add paprika and beef. Using your hands, gently incorporate mushroom mixture into beef. (To avoid tough, dry burgers, do not over-handle meat.)

Form into 4 patties, about 3 inches wide and 1 inch thick.   Grill over medium-high heat, approximately 4-5 minutes per side.  Top each burger with a slice of sharp cheddar. Close grill and cook burgers an additional minute, until cheese has melted.

Place about 1/4 cup baby greens on each bun bottom, then top with tomato and onion. Place burger over onion and cover with bun top.

AND, instead of potato salad or pasta salad we made lemon roasted asparagus.  Holy shit, I never knew asparagus could taste so good!

Lemon Roasted Asparagus

1 pound fresh asparagus
1 lemon
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cloves garlic, peeled & minced
1/4 cup freshly shredded parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 450.  Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray with non-stick cooking spray.

Snap the ends off the asparagus where they want to break naturally.  Discard the ends and place the remaning spears in a single layer on your prepared cookie sheet.  Squeeze the juice from the lemon evenly over your asparagus, and drizzle with olive oil.  Drop minced garlic over all.

Roast for approximately 10-15 minutes.  (I used a baking stone, and they always take a little longer to heat up.  A regular cookie sheet would probably go quicker.)  Remove from oven and sprinkle with fresh parmesan.

Constant Battle.

Yesterday was a struggle.

I got up early and ran to the grocery store.  Bought loads of green vegetables and made mostly healthy choices (although a bag of reduced fat Ruffles did mysteriously find their way into my cart).

Somehow, grocery shopping alway surprises me.  I’ve been craving french onion dip – you know, the delicious, creamy, full-fat goodness that was made to accompany potato chips.  The fat free kind was right next to the original, so I compared the labels on the two.  The fat free dip has double the calories and 3 times the carbs/sugar in the regular dip.  How can this be healthier???  (Not that either choice is healthy, exactly; but fat free is usually perceived as the lesser of two evils.)  I will never make sense of food labeling.

When we got out of the store, it was hot and extremely humid.  Like, sweaty underwear riding up your butt cheeks humid.  Since McDonald’s is right across the street, I headed over there for a large $1.00 coke.

Except I don’t drink regular soda anymore. A large coke has 310 calories and 86 grams of sugar.  Over the course of summer, I estimate I’ve drank around 40 large cokes.  What?!?  At only a dollar, they were a great deal and like it or not, fizzy soda is refreshing on a hot day.  But holy shit!  All those cokes have added up to over 12,000 empty calories.

Instead, I ordered a diet coke.  With no accompanying chicken nuggets or fries to choke down on the way home.  Score one for me!  I managed to get through a McDonald’s drive through without having a binge.

I got home & made a nice turkey sandwich on whole grain bread, with mustard, pickles, and a piece of colby cheese.  Snacked on a few pieces of low fat string cheese and a couple macadamia nuts in the afternoon.  Had a piece of ham rolled around a dill pickle (how come nobody told me how good that combination could be?).

Then I broke open the side of my ingrown toenail again, and headed back to Walgreen’s for another round of antibiotics.  While there, I wanted to pick up something naughty soooooo bad.  A box of Mike & Ike’s.  No – too sugary.  A bag of gummy bears?  Nah, not what I’m looking for.  A Little Debbie Brownie?  No – looked stale.  A giant peanut butter cup?  Aw, hell yeah!  That’s what I’m talking about.

But then I thought of the number on the scale.  And how good I was doing today.  And how in just five short months, I’ll be on vacation in Florida.

So, I put it back and instead picked up a bag of kettle corn.  At 130 calories for 2 cups, it’s a reasonable snack and cures my salty and sweet cravings.

And again, I passed by McDonald’s.  I still wanted to get my fried food fix; but I kept on driving and came home.

For dinner, I made us these glorious taco salads.

Saute an onion in a tiny bit of olive oil, just until it starts to turn brown.  Add a pound of extra-lean ground beef, and cook until lightly browned.  Drain well.  Add a packet of low sugar taco seasoning mix + a cup of water, and simmer until the water is absorbed.  Drain again in a colander.  Drain again on paper towels.  (I hate greasy hamburger in a salad).  Let cool in refrigerator for 30 minutes or so.  Mix with two 8-cup bags of precut lettuce, one well-drained large can of diced tomatoes, one well-drained can of sliced black olives, and 2 cups of low fat shredded mexican cheese.  Add just enough Hidden Valley SPICY ranch dressing to pull it all together.

The secret is the spicy ranch dressing.  It gives it a little extra kick, but not enough to overwhelm the rest of the salad.  And even though the ground beef isn’t the greatest, I feel good about eating lettuce and tomatoes and olives.  Also, it probably would have been better with fresh tomatoes, but I forgot to pick some up.

I’m learning to pick my battles.  Today was a success; but tomorrow may be a whole different story.